I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
