I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
