how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
