Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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