why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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