If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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