idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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