Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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