I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
