He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize