i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
