Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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