I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
