she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
