i don't like sucking hair
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
