just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
