You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
