I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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