The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
