in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's never too late to be topless.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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