This is not my ceiling
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
