Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
