Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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