IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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