Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
