Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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