Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
