How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Its about making memories worth repressing
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
