Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize