we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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