you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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