Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
