she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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