The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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