At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
