KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
