Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the day after is always just damage control
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
