I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
