i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
