North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize