Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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