Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
