Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
