After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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