I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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