I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We got so high we made milksteak
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can't turn off my feet"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
