Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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