A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
