you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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