try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
