Midget sex pt 2 tonight
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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