While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
