I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
