Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I CAN MOONWALK!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I want to fling myself into the sun
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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