normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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