I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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