can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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