just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
