Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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