Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I smell stomach acid.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize