She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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