I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My ass is underappreciated
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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