your parents love me but you hate me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
