you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
